The Two Biggest Stressors in Your Life (And How to Reframe Them)

Hey FunLifers, 

We all have “stuff.”

Jobs. Bills. Parents getting older. Our own health slipping down the priority list. Kids waking us up at 2am. None of that is unique.

What is unique is the way we perceive it.

Two people can have almost the exact same life circumstances, and one feels like they’re drowning while the other feels challenged but steady. The difference isn’t the workload, the number of kids, or the city they live in…

The difference is their state and their perspective on stress.

This week on Episode 20 of Pursuit of Balance, I unpack what I see as the two biggest stressors for most people:

1.    Work

2.    Family

…and more importantly, how to see them differently so they stop owning your life.

Stress Is Easier to Talk About Than to Fix

I’ve been coaching for 17 years. Every time I sit down with a new client for an assessment, we go through:

· Medical & injury history

· Exercise background

· Goals

· Nutrition habits

· Stress levels

· Sleep quality

What still shocks me is how normalized high stress has become.

Most people live at a 7–9 out of 10 and call it “fine.”

Then they wonder why their energy, mood, and health are falling apart.

Even in my own life:

I did blood work with InsideTracker and everything came back great… except cortisol. High.

Subjectively, I didn’t feel stressed. Life felt good. Business was growing. Relationship solid. But my body was telling a different story.

That’s why quantitative data (blood work, wearables, etc.) matters — we’re often more stressed than we admit.

Stress Is Mostly Perception (And That’s Good News)

Yes, there are real physiological stressors:

· Under-eating

· Overtraining

· Poor sleep

· Dehydration

· Being sedentary

But when I’m looking at those 1–10 stress ratings from clients, I’m mostly looking at perceived stress.

It’s rarely “the thing.” It’s your perception of the thing.

Same life:

· One person: “I’m a 2/10. It’s busy, but I’m good.”

· Another person: “I’m a 7/10. I’m overwhelmed.”

What changed? State. Frequency. Narrative.

One of my favorite lines:

Your frequency is what you frequently see.

Meaning: your inner state becomes the filter for how you see the world.

If you live in fear, anger, or resentment, that’s all you’ll see.

If you live in gratitude, growth, and ownership, that’s what you’ll see.

Same life. Different lens.

The Two Big Stress Buckets: Family & Work

Let’s break them down.

 Family: The Stress You Chose (Even If You Forget That)

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t pretend to “know” it from the inside. But I’ve coached hundreds of parents over the years, and I’ve seen the pattern:

· They love their kids to death.

· They’re exhausted, underslept, and stretched thin.

· They feel guilty prioritizing themselves.

· Their own health is slipping — and that makes everything feel 10x heavier.

Here’s the hard truth with love:

You chose this.

You chose to build a family. You chose to bring humans into the world.

And that is a gift, not a punishment.

Raising good humans is supposed to be hard.

You’re shaping a person for 18+ years — their character, habits, values, and worldview.

The mistake I see most parents make?

They stop filling their own cup.

They:

· Stop training consistently

· Stop cooking real food

· Stop having any time that’s just for them

· Use “no time” as the reason… when in reality, it’s no energy and no boundaries

Chronic stress is a drain. If you never refill the tank, everything feels heavier.

Two Big Levers for Family Stress

If you’re feeling buried by family life, start with these:

1. Fill your own cup (non-negotiable).

Not “if there’s time left” — there never will be.

That might look like:

· 2–4 workouts per week

· A walk alone or with a podcast

· Time with friends

· A hobby (golf, skimboarding, reading, whatever actually gives you energy)

When you pour into yourself, you’re a better:

· Parent

· Partner

· Friend

· Human

2. Have the hard conversations.

Most family stress isn’t just circumstances — it’s unspoken expectations and poor communication.

That could be:

· Talking to your partner about what you actually need

· Being honest with a sibling or parent about boundaries

· Laying out family roles and responsibilities clearly

Hard conversations are uncomfortable in the short term but reduce stress in the long term more than almost anything else.

 Work: The Stress You Can Rewrite

Work is the other massive stress bucket.

We spend 2,000+ hours a year working. If you hate what you do or it’s misaligned with your values, of course you’re going to feel burnt out.

A few things I see all the time:

· People staying in jobs they hate because “that’s just what you do”

· No boundaries between work and home (especially in remote roles)

· Zero alignment between their job and their deeper mission

I’m biased: I love what I do.

Coaching people, building my gyms, leading a team — it all gives me energy. It’s still hard, it’s still stressful, but it’s meaningful stress.

If your work is just draining and you see no purpose in it, that’s a red flag.

The Work Stress Fix Isn’t “Quit Tomorrow” — It’s Ownership

Some questions to sit with:

· Does my job align with the kind of impact I want to have?

· Is there a path here that leads to more freedom or growth?

· Have I set any boundaries at all?

· Am I training my brain to only see the negatives?

Work will always have seasons of grind, deadlines, and pressure. That’s fine.

What isn’t fine is:

· 24/7 access to you

· No separation between home and work

· No time for recovery

· No sense of control or intentionality

Even small changes in boundaries (no email after X time, designated focus blocks, actually taking days off) can radically change your perceived stress.

Stress, Growth, and Why Exercise Is the Ultimate Lab

Exercise is the perfect metaphor:

· It’s literally controlled stress.

· Done right, it builds your capacity.

· Done too hard with no recovery, it breaks you.

Same with life.

You don’t grow in the absence of stress. You grow by applying the right amount of stress and pairing it with enough recovery.

That’s why I’m such a believer in:

· Strength training

· Cardio

· Cold exposure, sauna, etc. (as hormetic stressors)

· Sleep, nourishment, and recovery practices

They don’t just change your body. They change your nervous system and your relationship to discomfort.

When you’ve proven to yourself — under a barbell, in a workout, on a run — that you can go beyond what your mind thought was possible, it bleeds into everything else.

The Real Life Hack: Action > Anxiety

If there’s one line I want you to take from this:

Action solves most of your stress.

Not overthinking.

Not scrolling.

Not venting.

Action.

· Don’t like your health? Start walking, lifting, and eating better.

· Don’t like your job? Start learning, networking, and applying.

· Stressed about money? Start tracking, budgeting, and educating yourself.

· Stressed about relationships? Start communicating clearly and honestly.

Not busywork. Productive action. There’s a difference.

The worst-case scenario in your head is almost never what actually happens if you keep moving forward and stacking small, consistent actions.

Your Next Step

If this hit for you, here are a few simple prompts to act on this week:

· On a scale of 1–10, how stressed do you feel right now?

· Where is most of that coming from: work or family?

· What’s one action you can take in the next 48 hours to:

• Fill your cup

• Set a boundary

• Or have a hard conversation

Then go listen to Episode 20 of Pursuit of Balance for the full breakdown — I go deeper into all of this, plus how I think about worst-case scenarios, resilience, and building a bigger capacity for life.

Talk soon,

Corey